My mug shot for my US Passport. Now I only have to remember to say that I've never tried to overthrow the US government and install a Communist regime. 

Caught in the act of you don't need to know what. 

My reception area at home. 

Word. 

�Que pasa calabasa? 

A Gnawing Sensation

I haven't written because I've been busy with my teeth - yes, plural. As in two of them. And they are side by side, so they are more effective, but they do make me drool a bit, which I didn't use to, so maybe other people are embarrassed for me, but I don't care. The teeth mean that I am now capable of holding little pieces of bread and crumbs from my daddy's daily xuxo in my mouth. He eats them very quickly now because I scream after each piece to let him know that I want more. How else can I communicate this urgently, after all? My schedule is pretty standardized now, though I have noticed that my parents are getting sneaky and leaving me with my Yaya on Saturday or Sunday now to have a little time to themselves together. How thoughtless. I do like it over there though. Lots of light and toys and things to look at, my own playroom, a view down to the lawn where there are brightly colored birds and cars passing by with their lights on sometimes. I had another trip to see Torture King, Dr. Puy, last week. He didn't feel the need to inject my ass with anything this time, but he did humiliate me by putting me on his stupid postal scale when I was naked and probing my less naughty orifices. I didn't pee this time, so I guess I am getting unwillingly accustomed to this periodic ordeal. When he measured me he giggled a little because I am so tall for my age. I'm like a 15 month-old girl even though I'm 8 months, so if it holds up, maybe I'll be able to get into bars early someday. He also said that I was a tad on the skinny side, though I see no problem with this. I eat and drink what I want, when I want. Aside from my imposing height, I have learned to stay sitting up on my own and can now stand for a couple of minutes with my daddy's help. I used to look like I was doing a hoola-hoop when I tried that, but now I've got my confidence. I should be walking soon and they've already taken the precaution of lowering the mattress in my crib to keep me caged at night. I'm still studying the situation and haven't completely ruled out the potential for escape if I can channel my sources efficiently. They watch me on the camera for a while when they are awake, but later once all the lights go out, they rely on their ears only and I like any sentient baby, I can be stealth when I want to. That's all for now - I'm off to play with my daddy's face and then go sleepy time.